Friday, August 20, 2010

My fiance wants to have sex before marriage. What to do?

I'm 21 and don't believe in saving it for marriage. I want to try it with my fiance before we get married. I don't want someone bad in bed. Marriage is all about sex. Most women my age wouldn't marry a man who never had sex or no experience, not in this era.

If he won't break his principals, then I'll have to call off the engagement and find another man.

How can I get him to break those principles?My fiance wants to have sex before marriage. What to do?
Sex is the highest in the marriage relationship; it is a symbol of faith. So avoid having sex before marriage.My fiance wants to have sex before marriage. What to do?
I understand your point of view. Despite what anyone says sex is not all about the marriage, but a big huge part too. You both have a right to know what is to be expected. Many cultures have a ritual called ';bundling'; where the engaged couple can sleep together without actually having sexual intercourse. I will be honest and frank with you. It sounds like he is not being considerate for your wants and needs. Does he ever talk about sex? Do you ever experiment with playful touching? If he is reluctant and only wants to talk about sex only after marriage, that is a warning sign. Sex in a marriage is all about consideration mutually. There are many deep subjects that need to be in the open like what you both like in bed together. No one likes surprises and that is why many Churches have premarital counseling and also secular counsel too. I know from experience as an elder lady that both need to know all about each other and the pillow talk needs to be in the open with both of you before the Big Day.
This is why sex should wait until after marriage, you both have an even start so there are no comparisons. If the choice of partner was a good one sex will be something that each person wants to make sure the other is enjoying. Many many marriages end not because of bad sex but because the wrong choice of partner was made.

If this man has principals and you do not agree with them and want to try and make him break them, YOU HAVE THE WRONG MAN. You two will have other basic opposing thoughts and ideas. You do not respect his point of view. You don't want to marry someone and then find out they are bad in bed. This is not a good reason to base a marriage on. If you are still a virgin I think you should wait for marriage. It will add something immeasurable to your marriage. Many women wish that they had waited. Perhaps this is what your future husband wants for you both. If you need to check out the goods and he wants to wait, then you must respect that and wait, If it were you that wanted to wait and him that wanted to pressure you into sex everyone here would be saying for you not to give up your principals and that he does not respect your values. You should respect that or let go of this man so he can find someone more compatible.
If that's how you feel, you should just not get married. Relationships and marriage is not about sex. Sex is just an activity that could be fun together, but is merely a perk. If it is important to you, you should just be single, not sure why you'd want to be married.

If he doesn't want to, then he doesn't have to. If that's not good for you, then be fair to him and break it off. Seems like he'd be better off without you if you think in such little a way.
SAVE IT... if you love him, you would wait for him and not pressure. and marriage is not all about sex, its also about commitment, trust, friendship, love, and being together. if your only in it for sex, you need to break it off anyway

P.S. im also not one of those prudes who save it for marriage but i believe you should respect his principles
PLEASE do not be the idiot that you sound like and have sex with that man before you get married. Marriage is NOT all about sex and even if it's a learning experience for both the man and the woman. I'm 19 and I would marry a man with no sex experience. Seriously...don't do it. It ain't worth it. For all you know you could get stood up at the altar and left with a broken heart...don't give no man your roses until they've committed their life to you first...
Wow. You are the reason the divorce rate is so high in this country. I feel bad for the man you are with. You're supposed to love someone for who they are, not how good they are in bed. So what if he turns out to be bad? At least you married a man who can make you smile on your worst days. Don't make him break his promise to himself.
marriage is not all about sex. I have never met one person in my entire life that divorced over sex.

One night stands are all about sex. BUt a marriage is a team.. common goals.. it's a partnership. best friends.. a companion for the rest of your life. Having sex and children are a benefit of that partnership. NOT the sole reason for it!!!
first, marriage isn't all about sex or divorce rates would be a lot lower because you could solve all problems w/ a good roll in the hay.

second, it sounds like youre still too immature for marriage.

third, i think pre-marital sex is a requirement.
Just tell him Straight up what you want to do, if he loves you than sex can wait til you say I Do, if not than hes not the right one and you know what he really wanted out of the relationship and it wasn't love

Hope it help :)

And good luck
Marriage is NOT all about sex, but anyways... if you two don't see eye to eye on something like sex, it can be fixed if one of you is willing to stop being so damn selfish.
Im confused, either way, if you both really loved each other you would both respect each others opinions etc
Call off the engagement... If you truely love him why try to make him do something he doesn't believe in? Find someone who shares your views on this particular topic.

Good Luck to you!
prepare one hot skillet and put it right between you's and then take it out the day of your honeymoon
This has to be a joke.
He is not going to buy the cow if you let him milk it for free....
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