Friday, August 20, 2010

Are all men just self absorbed?

I have only been with one man for close to a decade. He is just so self involved. I mean, he is unable to work right now and that is fine. I am working around 60 hours a week. I come home and have found myself having to clean because he just wants to play video games. We recently moved and I have been the one unpacking and cleaning. He, at one point knew there was something wrong and would ask but I didn't want to talk about it because he will get defensive and we would have fought. So kept my mouth shut, I don't nag(he actually nags)He was so self absorbed he acted like he didn't know what was stressing me out was that he wasn't doing crap and I was, on top of working 60 hours. He then asked me to do something else around the house and I blew up at him. I had had it. I feel like he will just walk on me and I have to be careful not to let him.

I later heard him giving relationship advice to another guy. He told him that if your girlfriend has a problem just ignore it, she will eventually ***** and it will be over(he called it ';pimp logic';). He has no idea I heard this. Is he so self absorbed that he really didn't know what was bothering me, or was he just trying to see how far he could push me?

I also told him to go ahead and take time off when he got laid off. I had been laid off myself for about a year and the house was always clean and dinner always cooked and he was only working 40 hours a week. So I am not bothering him about finding a job and he is enjoying his time off.

Stuff has just built up and I am thinking about leaving. It has not been perfect, of course. But are all men this way? We have been together 9 years this July. He has been mentioning wanting to have a kid in the next few years-but right now I cannot even imagine one with him. I turned 29 today and I cannot believe how unhappy I have become with him. I do not want to start the next decade of my life feeling like I do today.

Is my determination not to be the ';nagging wife'; biting me in the butt? Are most men this way? Do you think I am being walked on or is he just self absorbed and clueless?Are all men just self absorbed?
In the defense of good men everywhere, I am appalled that you would imply that all men are as cruel as the one you have given 9 years of your life to. In your defense, you were so very young when you limited your life to just him, you didn't have the life experience to know better.

Please don't subject yourself to this man's meanness any longer. And, whatever you do, don't bring innocent children into the situation.Are all men just self absorbed?
Q: Are all women just self-absorbed? A: Of course not.
Leave this fool! And don't look back!
Sorry about your Life .. and yea Sorry i am not the one like him
my man works full time, is a sole provider, and plus he does all the ';men's'; job - fixing stuff, building stuff, resolving problems. when some idiotic beatch hit my car on a parking place he was the one arranging everything to be fixed and talking to insurance companies about MY car. i on the other hand make all ';women's'; jobs - cooking, cleaning and blah. but i told him if i ever get a job (which i want very much but can't find) he either divides everything with me or gets a maid. so maybe, if u do not like your man, maybe u search for smth better. u have better chances at 29 and with no children than at 49 with lots of children. i say while u re young - as soon as u do not like smth - dump the loser. besides, u re the one who is working, how do u even let him treat u like this? he should stand and bark at command. also he should fetch and play dead on command too. jeesh, woman, people will treat u the way u let them treat u
I'm so sorry that your going through this and lots of women have been here but this is an unfair question, I understand you feel upset and this particle man may deserve this question but there not all bad just some of them. I wish you luck and I hope that you move on from this person. Good luck love yourself and you will find someone amazing to love you back with lots of perks.
my boyfriends not, granted we've been together for a year. he does his own laundry, pays his own bills, works at least 50 hours a week, and treats me well. he even put a table on the other side of his bed for my stuff. He does get a little involved playing video games on his xbox live, sometimes a little to much. but he stops when he knows i want on the internet. all in all he's a really great guy and i got really really lucky!
Someone once told me that all men are selfish and only want sex. They will only be nice and love you and give to you if you make them.... How to make them do that, I have no idea. It sounds like your man has gotten some terrible advice on relationships. You need to talk to him about things. If he calls you a nag, it's because he doesn't want to deal with it. He just wants what he wants. He doesn't want to please you. Calling a woman a nag is a man's easy way out. You can't just NOT talk about things, because then nothing will change, he will only get worse because you're letting him. Don't let him run you over. Tell him what's on your mind, but don't lose your temper. Say something like, ';Look, Babe, I love you. But I need you to help me around the house. It's only fair. I work so much for us, and I understand you can't work right now but you could at least help me around the house. I'm not asking for a lot.'; And maybe try to do something together (something both of you like to do, and don't involve sex). Try to make him see the wonderful woman you are and how lucky he is to be with you. Make him remember why he is with you. Not so you can support his lazy *** but because of how much fun you have together. Try everything you can before you give up on your relationship. If nothing works and you're truly unhappy, end it and don't look back.
Sounds like you need to sit him down for a little ';chit chat';. You have to call him out on the ';pimp logic'; thing. Ask him if he thinks of himself as the pimp, how does he see you? You need to then tell him you don't see yourself that way, and then give him a good ultimatum. If he is unwilling to change you may have to do a trial separation, and see if he comes to his senses. You actually have all the cards since you are the breadwinner. Men have traditionally held this roll,and it has contributed to their arrogant attitudes toward women. This guy is a real piece of work treating you like this when he is unemployed. Exactly what does he envision himself bargaining with? Have fun.
he is hurting right now where is your loyalty im sure he wants nothing more than to be a provider get behind him stop complaining give him a chance to get himself together if you give up your giving up on your best friend

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