Wednesday, August 18, 2010

How to stop being so angry?

I am 36 years old and have 2 daughters 14 and 16 i been with the same man since i was 18.I suffer bipolar disorder since i was 14 and I have alot of anger toward my boyfriend i feel as if i can go in a rage toward him mind you not to anyone else i m angry with just him)i recieve social security and so does my daughter we been finacially been taking care of him he hasn t held a job (i m not sticking up for him but the jobs in the area suck but there is some)i just feel terriable cuz i couldn t give my kids everything we didn t even have christmas last year cuz it was really bad i am grateful that i m surviving by having a roof over my head food etc etc healthy teenagers but he pisses me off i never really got anything from him although he will make do if we need food or something odd and end jobs he will stand behind me with my bipolar i have verbally attacked him and also smacked him in the face because i had alot of anger toward him because of the money please don t judge me i m not a mean person just angry at my boyfriend for not trying to do anything with his life to have better for his kids the thing is one part of me loves him another part of me hates him i don t know wot to doHow to stop being so angry?
I don't judge you.

I do have a recommendation. There is a book entitled, ';But I love him.'; And while the book is written for teen-age girls, there is still wisdom in it for women.

You say that you're only that MAD w/ him, but that anger is going to start (eventually) seeping from the'll hit innocent people who REMIND you of him, etc, etc.

AND, you need to work through your anger and learn how/why you should abandon this relationship. So, please, find a counselor or psychotherapist who works on a sliding scale basis. Google it. For example: Mason, Texas, sliding, scale, counselor. See what comes up.

And be good to yourself. Us bipolars have it hard anyway :(

Sending you a safe hug.How to stop being so angry?
I can understand your anger towards your boyfriend. It is perfectly legitimate. However, you shouldn't become verbally abusive or physical with him. You don't need him in your life, this is fairly obvious, because you are an independent woman who has done a fantastic job with what little you have. Don't keep him around simply on the basis that he understands your Bi-polar disorder. I suggest you keep this a private matter to yourself, because there will be always someone who will abuse you once they are privy to this. Do little odd jobs yourself to bring in extra income. Personally, I'd rather be angry with myself, than to be miserable by another. Ask GOD for blessings, things that will make you feel better. GOD bless.
Options: Take a couple of deep breaths; fill the lower part of your lungs first, THEN the chest. If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent you from allowing yourself to become angry, in the first place) it is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, perhaps by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards. Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. ';But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you. When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it.

You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line.'; Try saying to yourself, in your mind: ';I am fire! I am ice!';. Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free)鈥?/a> or鈥?/a> or or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) at鈥?/a> Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at ';EFT'; %26amp; ';EFT therapists'; Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (you could claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: ';Even though I sometimes make myself angry, I deeply and completely accept myself.'; These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others. Books: The Anger Workbook - a 13 step plan to help you. - Les Carter %26amp; Frank Minirth. - Minirth Meier Clinic Series, %26amp; Anger Management For Dummies. - W. Doyle. PhD. - Gentry, %26amp; ';Feeling Good - the new mood therapy'; by David D. Burns, (recommended) %26amp; Angry All The Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control by Ron Potter-Efron.
justifiable anger...what u did is right. he is worthless. no quality of being a friend or husband. if he do not like u, he can avoid u; but as human being when he saw the suffering of two kids he has to give some care.

in the world u woman think u get freedom, but the truth is tat still now world suck the world. if u become mild to him, he will think u r afraid of his muscle. continue maintain ur anger for him and make a good care of ur kids and learn them the responsibility of a family member.

if u do not find any honest friend in ur life, don't worry bcoz ur kids will be near maturity and they will wipe away those tear of urs.

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