I have not been in a relationship yet, And I have never been abused. But I have this fear that I could get in a relationship with someone or fall in love with someone who is a pedophile, or has raped / molested someone. I could never voluntarily be in a relationship with someone if I KNEW they ever did any of these things because I am so disgusted with how anyone could harm someone else. But usually they are the people you least expect, and sometimes women will be even married to someone for many years (decades) and not know that their husband is a pedo, or has raped. It's so common, and I am suspicious of all men now. I always wonder, if you could look on their computer, would their be child porn? or horrible rape porn? Even if they have never actually acted on something, what if they have those fantasies..how would you know? I could never love someone who was like that...but how would I know?
Btw, my grdnfather molested young girls, so was basically a pedo, although not everyone in the family knows, because my mom has kept it a secret out of shame. So I guess, it's something on my mind. It's always what I think about when I look at a man. How can I trust them?How can I trust men....? I always wonder if they are pedophiles / rapists etc?
the answer is you can't trust them.How can I trust men....? I always wonder if they are pedophiles / rapists etc?
you have to get to know someone best you can before you do anything if you don't try you will never get the guy you like i mean im a guy im 19 years old and i am leaving for the U.S. Army in 12 days and i can honestly say i have never done any of that so you just have to get to know somebody and maybe eventually you could see that the person wouldn't hurt a fly ^.^
Learn to trust your self and your gut. Learn more about trust. Maybe this has led you to have some sort of anxiety. You might want to call your doctor about this.
It sounds like you have trust issues. It is possible to have trust issues without having a traumatic experience to bring it out. But the truth is... you can not really trust everyone. You just have to take that leap and believe that everything is going to be okay and believe in that person.
Its funny how you said your'e grndfather was a pedo.lol...but anyways I think you might have some form of anxiety with being raped or abused by a guy.Its not like that all the time and not all guys are the same in my opinion.Of course there are the rapists criminal type of guys and then there are the nice and ype of guys,though some guys might tend to cheat.My advice would be to get to know a guy before being in a relationship with him or anything and then see if hes your'e type of guy.Hope i helped:)